For Christians who are single, we have another kind of waiting entirely. I know you could search 'encouragement in waiting' on the internet and come up with a thousand and one blog posts, website articles and quotes on waiting, and read till your eyes fall out, getting the same advice just in different ways. I've heard so many people saying 'be patient and wait for the Lord to bring your future husband along', and they are right- we should wait on the Lord. But sometimes we need a different kind of encouragement.
So that's what I'm going to give you- a different kind of encouragement. As your sister in Christ, I want to stand next to you, lock arms with you and help you stand strong when the world is beating against us to forget waiting and live for the fun we could have in the moment without considering the commands we have in God's Word or the consequences. This post is mostly for my sisters in Christ, but I'm sure there's something in this for my brothers in Christ as well. I'm not going to lecture- I'm going to be the big sister who gives her opinion, who stands beside you and wants to be an encouragement to ladies who are in the same boat I'm in.
1 Corinthians 14:40: "Let all things be done decently and in order."
In my last post about being old fashioned, I said I believe in doing things the right way. That means when I go out with a guy, there will be a chaperone. It's not because I am not old enough to go out without one, that I can't be trusted, or anything of that nature. It's because I value my reputation and the Bible says to abstain from all appearance of evil. And I'll be honest, if a guy wants to take me out but has a problem with having a chaperone, I'm going to question why he has a problem with that! Doesn't matter how old we are, it's a matter of making sure no one can say anything against us because everyone will know it is not true. Having a chaperone also helps us stand firm when we could easily fall into sin.
Another part of doing things the right way is waiting for marriage. My mom had an excellent piece of advice on this. She said until you've said "I do" and walked away as husband and wife, he can back out at any moment. I know in our minds, we would think 'no, he loves me, he wouldn't do that' but you have to admit it's true or else there would never be anyone left at the altar. I've not waited all this time to waste it for someone who is could walk away. Besides that, the Bible is clear on this subject:
Romans 12:1: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."
1 Corinthians 6:18&19: "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?"
Ephesians 5:3: "But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;"
With these verses and so many, many more, why would I go against God's Word on this? Answer is, I Won't. I've waited and done things right according to God's Word, and I'm going to wait for a man who has done the same. And like I said in my last blog post, wearing a white dress will mean I've done things according to God's Word and have special meaning for me. Sisters, it's okay to wait for a guy who has waited. It's okay to say you have waited and deserve someone who has too. I know ladies like us are far and few between, but we're not alone. I'm waiting, like you, and I'm praying for you to have the strength and courage and patience to wait.
And if anyone, anyone tells you what you're doing is outdated or a waste of time, that you don't deserve better, or that they can't love you if you insist on waiting for marriage- walk away from them. Now. Right now, forget them and don't listen to a word they say. If a man truly cares for you and loves you, he's going to be in agreement with you on waiting until the preacher says you're man and wife. You deserve a man who has waited too, and it's okay to wait for that man because God has commanded us to wait.
Another thing about doing things right is choosing the right guy. I'm not going to marry someone who isn't saved. I'm not going to marry someone who doesn't share the same beliefs as me. I'm not going to marry someone who is living in sin and is okay with it, who doesn't think he needs to stop. Yes, I have a long list with a lot of standards for a guy to meet- but you know what, that's okay. In fact, it's more than okay.
The Bible says we're not to be unequally yoked, and that doesn't just mean an unsaved person with a saved person. Two people can both be born again, Independent Baptists and believe very differently on a multitude of things, on anything from women wearing pants to homeschooling versus public school- even on basic doctrine! There are things that would cause discord after you're married that you need to agree on before you say I do. And, yes, I know that two people raised in two different homes will never be identical, and there are little things that you can work out and agree on, but big things- things like Bible doctrine- should never be pushed aside as 'well, we don't agree on this but...' You can't be unequally yoked on things like this. It's going to ruin your life if you marry someone you know you don't stand on the same things with.
Another thing, if you know you would be unequally yoked with a guy like this, don't even allow yourself to consider him as a possible future husband. Please, don't go out with him. Don't let yourself fall for the lie of 'well, I'll just go out this once, it can't hurt anything'. Why would you waste your time with someone who you know you won't marry? Spend that time praying for the right guy instead. Spend that time encouraging other sisters in Christ who are waiting. Spend that time serving the Lord.
Waiting is difficult. I understand. It's very hard to see everyone getting married and the world living for whatever enjoyment they can in the moment while you're sitting there waiting. But it's worth it, waiting. It's hard to wait when you even have other Christians telling you to forget it, you'll never find someone if you wait. Don't listen to that garbage. God's told you to wait and be patient, and He wouldn't tell you to do that if He knew it wasn't for your benefit.
So, as your sister in the Lord who loves you and wants the best God has for you, here's the long and short of it: We're waiting because God says to wait. We deserve someone who has waited and it's okay to stand up for that fact. We're waiting on someone who God will send because He won't send someone we'll be unequally yoked with. We're going to remind each other to wait for what we deserve. We're going to help each other stand firm and strong and be patient. We're going to pray for each other, encourage each other and help hold each other up when temptation to give in to the world's calls are overwhelming us.
We're going to wait together as sisters in the Lord.
And to our brothers in Christ- help us! Pray for us like we're praying for you. Be the man of God who encourages the sisters in Christ he knows to be patient and wait. Be a true gentleman and brother to us and help protect Godly ladies from guys who would ruin their lives. Believe me, we need more of you who will stand next to us, encourage, protect and pray for us- who will even bluntly tell us we deserve better and to wait for someone better. Let's work together to help each other wait for the right one that God has for us.